18 Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Help

From spoiled food to living in the same pair of pajamas, certain signs can suggest an aging parent needs help now.

“Always note anything out of character,” says geriatric psychologist Melissa Henston. “I once told my dad, ‘Dad, you can’t eat this stuff. Ham isn’t supposed to be green.’”

No one knows your parents or loved ones like you do — something unusual for them may be an everyday situation at another person’s parents’ home. Still, it’s helpful to know common warning signs that may signal trouble.

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Whether you’re visiting in person or catching up via video chat, look out for these 18 signs:

1. Bounced checks, calls from collections, and late payment notices
   Are they paying bills late or not paying them at all? Are collection companies calling?
2. Broken or damaged appliances and fixtures
   Have they stopped cooking or maintaining a regular meal schedule because their kitchen appliances don’t work? Are important items, such as light bulbs or smoke alarms, breaking or not being tended to?
3. Changes in mood or extreme mood swings
   Are your parents acting differently toward you, friends, or even strangers?
4. Cluttered, dirty, or disorganized house
   Is the home beginning to look and feel different or unrecognizable?
5. Confusion and uncertainty when performing familiar tasks
   Do your parents seem unsure about how to complete daily chores or tasks such as laundry, vacuuming, or washing dishes?
6. Feeling depressed or having little to no energy
   Has your parent’s demeanor noticeably changed? Do they smile or laugh like they used to?
7. Wearing disheveled or tattered clothing
   Do your parents regularly neglect their appearance? Are their clothes worn or dirty?
8. Keeping expired groceries
   Is food collecting mold on the counter or making the fridge and house smell?
9. Forgetfulness
   Are they losing or misplacing keys, wallets, or other important items?
10. Improper medication management
    Are there full bottles of prescription pills in medicine cabinets?
11. Leaving house or yard maintenance unattended
    Are weeds growing uncontrollably? Is trash piling up outside?
12. Loss of interest in activities or hobbies they once enjoyed
    When was the last time they did something they loved?
13. Missing important appointments
    Are they frequently rescheduling missed appointments or simply not showing up?
14. Weight loss or poor dieting habits
    Are they eating much less or consuming only fast food or prepackaged snacks?
15. Poor personal hygiene
    Do they have bad breath or body odor more often?
16. Trouble getting up from a seated position
    Are they struggling to sit or stand?
17. Frequent injuries or bruising
    Do they have unexplained and more frequent bruises, scratches, or cuts?
18. Unexplained dents or damage on their car
    Are they getting into more accidents? In general, are they not paying attention to their car or safety?

If you notice any of these signs, it may be helpful to write down your concerns. Talking with your siblings and other relatives, or perhaps planning an elder care family meeting, can be extremely helpful.

What happens next?

Once you’ve identified your loved one’s needs and you’re ready to take the next step, our Senior Living Advisors can help you navigate the process. This could mean comparing care types and senior living communities, learning how to pay for care, planning a smooth transition, or scheduling virtual or in-person tours of senior living communities.

The aging process looks different for everyone, but taking proactive steps by getting your loved one the care they need can have a positive impact on their overall health and wellness. Perhaps they only require help with household chores and routine errands. Or, maybe they could benefit from the additional companionship that comes with independent living or home care. For those in need of more hands-on assistance throughout the day, assisted living or a care home setting may be a better fit. Remember: Getting a feel for dining plans and activities schedules is just as crucial as selecting a community that offers the necessary care services, so don’t hesitate to ask questions during a tour.

Sometimes recognizing the initial signs is the biggest hurdle, but once you’ve realized a parent needs help, there are resources available to make the next steps as smooth as possible.