Your Guide to Retirement Homes and Assisted Living for LGBTQ+ Seniors

Senior living isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s important to find the right community fit for your loved one’s individual social, emotional, and medical needs. No matter which type of senior housing is the best for you or your aging relative, know that safe and affirming options for LGBTQ+ seniors are available.

LGBTQ+ retirement communities

Retirement communities, senior apartments, and independent living communities offer a carefree lifestyle for older adults who want to enjoy retirement without the complications of homeownership. Independent living provides a variety of convenient services and amenities, including:

• Prepared meals
• Transportation
• Social activities
• Housekeeping

Your loved one may be able to participate in gay retirement community activities like pride celebrations, discussion groups, and trips to local institutions with like-minded individuals.

Assisted living for LGBTQ+ seniors

Assisted living communities provide housing and care for seniors who are generally active but may need support with activities of daily living (ADLs) such as bathing, dressing, and medication management. Assisted living offers transportation, restaurant-style dining, and additional safety features to maximize care for aging adults.

Assisted living geared toward LGBTQ+ seniors may be more difficult to find than independent living. You can find a safe, supportive space for your loved one by asking the nine questions listed further down in this article.

LGBTQ+ memory care

Memory care provides housing and 24-hour care for seniors with Alzheimer’s disease or other types of dementia. They offer activities and safe environments to improve quality of life, slow cognitive decline, and prevent wandering.

LGBTQ+ seniors with memory concerns can experience a particularly challenging set of circumstances, according to the Alzheimer’s Association and SAGE.^[01] A memory care facility that’s well-versed in caring for LGBTQ+ seniors, especially those who have transitioned, can help.

Nursing homes for LGBTQ+ seniors

Nursing homes provide care for seniors with significant physical or mental health conditions that require 24-hour nursing care. These facilities offer the highest level of care for seniors who need medical care but don’t require hospitalization.

It’s important to make sure that the nursing home and its staff are LGBTQ-friendly or well-versed in the care of transgender patients, if applicable.

Is assisted living the right fit?

The communities below are either known for their LGBTQ-specific senior living options or have received Platinum-level SAGECares cultural competency training. To search for more communities with this accreditation, check out SAGE’s provider database.

Stonewall Gardens Assisted Living for LGBT Seniors & Friends in Palm Springs, California

Stonewall Gardens is an assisted living community designed specifically for LGBTQ+ seniors and allies. Operated by Northstar Senior Living, the facility boasts supportive, experienced 24-hour staff, chef-designed dining menus, and a wide range of outings and activities.

Fountaingrove Lodge in Santa Rosa, California

Situated on 10 acres of lush landscaping in the center of wine country, Fountaingrove Lodge is a haven for LGBTQ+ seniors seeking a low-maintenance lifestyle. They offer assistance with activities of daily living (ADLs), chef-prepared meals, and housekeeping services, as well as unique perks like a golf course and sweeping mountain vistas.

The Palms of Manasota in Palmetto, Florida

The Palms is well-known as one of the first gay and lesbian retirement communities to open in the U.S. With stand-alone homes, condos, and duplex options, it’s great for active seniors who wish to enjoy retirement in a vibrant, beachy, LGBTQ+ retirement community.

Grace Ridge in Morganton, North Carolina

Grace Ridgeoffers a safe, supportive environment for LGBTQ+ seniors. With a SAGECare credential, this community is committed to promoting every senior’s ability to express themselves freely and share who they are.

Armbrook Village in Westfield, Massachusetts

Offering independent and assisted living as well as memory care, Armbrook Village is prepared to support seniors through every stage of aging. A recipient of a platinum-level SAGECare credential, they’re committed to offering a safe space for LGBTQ+ seniors along with amenities like restaurant-style dining, and unique Compass Memory Support programs for seniors with Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia.

Brookdale Battery Park City in New York City, New York

Brookdale Battery Park City offers independent living just off the Hudson River, near the Winter Garden and the Statue of Liberty. This SAGECare-credentialed community is immersed in classic New York culture and offers amenities such as an indoor pool, arts and crafts studio, and a wide range of activities.

Compass on the Bay in Boston, Massachusetts

Located in a comfortable, residential setting, Compass on the Bay offers memory support services for seniors with all memory care needs, from mild cognitive decline to a late-stage dementia diagnosis. Families of LGBTQ+ seniors with dementia can feel confident that care providers are trained and certified in the unique needs of LGBTQ+ seniors requiring memory care.

Joshua Springs Senior Living in Bullhead City, Arizona

Joshua Springs Senior Living offers assisted living and memory care in a beautiful desert setting. Staff members and care aides have received cultural competency training, and the variety of amenities and activities help LGBTQ+ seniors live in a secure, affirming space.

Lakeside Park in Oakland, California

Lakeside Park offers homey studios and one-bedroom apartments to seniors experiencing cognitive decline. Located just miles from San Francisco, this community provides around-the-clock care, as well as unique programs like gardening, virtual reality, and courses through Watermark University. Nurses and care aides receive platinum-level cultural competence training, meaning they can guide your LGBTQ+ senior relative throughout their dementia journey.

Sunrise Senior Living (8 certified locations)

Sunrise Senior Living, a major U.S. assisted living provider, has committed to LGBTQ+ senior living. Many of their communities have basic cultural competency training, while eight have achieved platinum-level certification.

Triangle Square Senior Apartments in Los Angeles, California

Triangle Square Apartments is the nation’s first affordable LGBTQ+ senior housing development of private, individual apartment homes. Located in historic Hollywood, the community offers housing to lower-income seniors. Most notably, over one-third of their rooms are reserved for elders living with HIV/AIDS. Because of the specialized and income-restricted nature of this community, there’s often a long waiting list for accommodations.

Birds of a Feather in Pecos, New Mexico

Located in the foothills of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains, Birds of a Feather offers a peaceful, rural environment seeped in New Mexico culture. They offer homes, casitas, and energy-efficient units for LGBTQ+ seniors who seek a relaxing retirement.

The Pryde in Boston, Massachusetts

The nonprofit LGBTQ Senior Housing Inc. broke ground on The Pryde in June 2022. This mixed-income senior living development will offer 74 independent living apartments.

An estimated 2.4 million seniors in the U.S. self-identify as LGBTQ+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer), according to the American Psychological Association.^[02] Many aging members of the LGBTQ+ community — sometimes abbreviated by senior-focused organizations as LGBT, since the term “queer” was often considered derogatory before being reclaimed by the community in the mid-1980s — still struggle to find supportive senior living options.

“Many of these folks have been out for a very long time and have no intent to go back in the closet,” says Kimberly Acquaviva, a nursing educator at George Washington University. “They’re looking for a place where they can be the vibrant people they’ve always been.”

As people begin to search for senior living, it’s important not only to consider health care needs and preferences, but also to keep in mind what makes a person feel engaged, comfortable, and safe. For LGBTQ+ seniors, a community should be a safe space to age while embracing a person’s true self.

“There’s very little LGBT-specific senior housing throughout the country, especially affordable housing,” says Sydney Kopp-Richardson, director of the national LGBT elder housing initiative at SAGE, an organization that provides advocacy and service for LGBT elders.

“It’s important to find senior living that’s elder-affirming — a place where staff, residents, and directors accept and affirm LGBT seniors and they don’t feel the need to go back into the closet.”

The good news: Welcoming senior housing options are on the rise. As of 2021, at least 1,100 affordable units of housing were available in the U.S. for older LGBTQ+ people, and a growing number of other communities offer LGBTQ-affirming resources, according to Forbes.^[03]

Assisted living questions? Get expert help

“Any retirement community can be LGBT-friendly,” Acquaviva says. Supportive, caring senior living options exist across the country. Depending on where you live, finding assisted living for LGBTQ+ seniors could take some digging.

Consider asking these nine additional questions while filling out ourassisted living checklist or memory care checklist.

1. Do you have an antidiscrimination policy? An antidiscrimination policy should be readily visible and include gender and sexual orientation, says Kopp-Richardson. Since both sexual orientation and gender identity are only considered protected classes in 21 states and Washington, D.C., this isn’t a given. It’s a good sign if a community visibly posts its antidiscrimination policy and discusses it in brochures and on tours.
2. Are there LGBTQ+ community organizations or clubs? Many assisted living communities, especially in progressive areas, have resident-led social groups or safe spaces for LGBTQ+ seniors. Aging loved ones can express themselves freely and discuss concerns with like-minded individuals.
3. What are your employee benefits? There’s a strong connection between employee benefit policies and affirming treatment of LGBTQ+ seniors, says Kopp-Richardson. If a community offers equal benefits, support for LGBTQ+ staff, and health care benefits that positively affect transgender employees, it’s more likely that the community will be affirming toward its residents.
4. Does your staff have experience caring for LGBTQ+ seniors? If the community dismisses your question or says they haven’t worked with anyone who identifies as LGBTQ+, that may be a red flag. Open, candid conversations between LGBTQ+ seniors and staff before moving in are a must.
5. What are your cohabitation policies? Some communities only allow married couples to cohabitate and define marriage as between one man and one woman. Though the Supreme Court ruled that discrimination against LGBTQ+ people is a type of sex discrimination in 2020, some communities may not readily accept the cohabitation of same-sex couples.
6. Do you have events that celebrate minorities? If the community doesn’t have a large LGBTQ+ population, ask about the acceptance of different races and religions. Is there a focus on inclusivity? Are there celebrations of various cultural holidays and events? Maybe you or your senior family member could start events and begin new traditions that foster a space for the LGBTQ+ community.
7. Do personal beliefs affect staff interaction? If you’re touring a religiously affiliated community, ask about staff and residents, not just community policy. That said, many religious communities do offer safe, supportive housing for LGBTQ+ seniors.
8. Have you received cultural competency or antidiscrimination training? SAGECare offers training to help providers create LGBTQ-affirming communities. They offer cultural competency resources on their website and have trained more than 87,000 senior care professionals nationwide. “Cultural competency is the idea that LGBT older people are as deserving of compassionate elder care as anyone else,” says Kopp-Richardson.
9. Do you respect durable power of attorney and chosen family? A Journal of Palliative Medicine study found nearly 20% of assisted living and memory care communities bypassed LGBTQ+ residents’ partners or spouses and contacted biological family members in emergencies. As a result, asking about awareness of durable powers of attorney is key, as is respecting same-sex partnerships .^[04]

Discussing these questions will help you and your loved one find a community that makes LGBTQ+ seniors feel safe, supported, and comfortable, and can give you confidence that gender identity and sexual orientation will be respected.

The right senior living fit can improve health and quality of life, benefits that should be accessible to everyone. As the population ages, the number of LGBTQ-affirming senior housing options is growing.

SAGE regularly updates this map of LGBTQ-friendly senior living across the country. Cultural competency training is growing nationwide, with credentialed providers in 48 states.

A Place for Mom can help you and your loved one find the perfect senior living fit regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation. Reach out to our Senior Living Advisors for an open conversation about LGBTQ-affirming senior living options in your area.

Article optimized by Rebecca Schier-Akamelu

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