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Elderly woman receiving help putting toothpaste on her toothbrush from a caregiver.

An Expert’s Advice on Personal Care for Seniors

7 minute readLast updated January 4, 2022
Written by Merritt Whitley, senior living writer and editor

Caring for an aging loved one sometimes means assisting them with activities of daily living, such as helping them bathe, dress, or brush their teeth. Helping an aging adult with their personal hygiene takes patience, preparation, and skill.

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Saige Via, a caregiving supervisor at Chestnut Knoll assisted living community in Boyertown, Pennsylvania, knows a few things about being a caregiver. She shared her expert advice on personal care for seniors, which can help you accomplish these essential tasks while maintaining your loved one’s dignity.

Discuss body hygiene needs for elderly loved ones

Lack of hygiene is one of the important signs an aging parent needs help with daily living tasks. However, relying on others’ help with personal care can feel invasive and even humiliating for many seniors. It’s important to have honest discussions about what your loved one feels comfortable with to relieve stress and create trust, explains Via.

“Providing care to someone is a very personal and private thing,” she said. “Some people may not want to accept help from you. It’s best to have these kinds of conversations ahead of time.”

Have a conversation with your senior loved one to learn more about their preferences and abilities. Ask them the following questions:

  • Do you prefer a family member or a nurse or caregiver to help you?
  • What activities do you need help with the most?
  • Do you prefer someone of the same or opposite sex to help you shower or shave?
  • Is there anything about help with hygiene that makes you feel uncomfortable?

Incorporate their regular routine

Following your aging parent’s normal routine will help them feel more comfortable, Via explains. For example, if your parent showers in the morning, maintain that routine, if possible. If they use specific items — such as certain washcloths, soaps, or shampoos — keep their favorite items consistent, too.

“There’s no need to add confusion by changing their routine,” Via said. “Try to stick to their normal schedule. You have to remember that you’re entering their space. It can help you build a better relationship.”

Useful bathing tips for elderly adults

Helping your loved one bathe can feel overwhelming without the right tools and techniques. Follow these tips for a smoother and safer experience.

Consider bathroom safety accessories

If your elderly parent has poor balance or can’t stand for long periods of time, you may need to make the shower or bathtub more accessible. 

Consider the following to help ensure safer practices for hygiene:

  • Grab bars near toilets and showers
  • Nonslip adhesives on the shower floor
  • Shower stool or bath bench
  • Handheld shower sprayer

Adjust bathing frequency

Hygiene needs for the elderly may be different than you expect. Bathing twice a week is typically sufficient for an elderly person unless accidents occur, Via said.

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“When someone is incontinent, I will give a quick wash and dry when changing them to avoid any skin breakdown from occurring,” she said. “I also wash them with soap and water thoroughly every night before bed and every morning when they get ready for the day.”

Organize their bathing items

Preparing and organizing items is one of the simplest ways to help ensure bathing goes smoothly. Have these basic materials ready before you begin:

  • Sponges
  • Towels
  • Washcloths
  • Shampoo and conditioner
  • Soap or body wash

“It’s important to have everything you need in one spot, so you can focus on the senior,” Via said.

Respect your aging parent’s privacy and comfort level

Some seniors may feel more comfortable holding towels over their private areas during bathing. Although the towels will need to be worked around to clean those areas, that bit of privacy might make your loved one more comfortable. 

Remember to clean under skin folds

Bacteria grows under skin folds ­­­— therefore, it’s important to clean under every fold and wrinkle, including:

  • Breasts
  • Neck
  • Stomach folds
  • Genitalia

Dry these areas with a towel to avoid fungal infections. Rinse away soap completely so your loved one’s skin doesn’t become too dry or agitated.

Remember skin care

Skin becomes more sensitive with age, so it’s important to pat dry with a towel instead of rubbing. Applying a moisturizer will also help prevent dryness and can even be a bit therapeutic for your senior loved one if you gently massage it into their skin.

The American Academy of Dermatology has these additional skin tips for the elderly:

  • Keep baths and showers to around 10 minutes
  • Use warm water instead of hot water
  • Use a soft cloth for washing
  • Apply moisturizer to damp skin

Maintain their oral hygiene

Maintaining dental hygiene as part of personal care for seniors is important for long-term health. Seniors need to see their dentist every six months or more often, depending on their medical conditions. Dentures should be checked regularly for proper fit, and gums need to be checked for gum disease or cancer.

Via recommends practicing good oral hygiene in the morning and before bed. She prepares toothbrushes with toothpaste for seniors who can brush their teeth on their own. If someone can’t brush their teeth on their own, Via will either guide their hand with hers or brush for them.

The American Dental Association recommends these additional oral hygiene practices for seniors:

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  • Use rotating toothbrushes
  • Brush with a high-fluoride toothpaste
  • Use topical fluoride (daily mouth rinses or fluoride varnish applications)
  • Maintain a healthy diet

Help them remain independent in daily tasks

Your involvement with hygiene-related tasks depends on your loved one’s needs and abilities. Do your best to help them remain in control, Via recommends.

“I help with shaving, dentures, brushing teeth, and washing faces, and I approach all of these types of care the same way,” she said. “I ask if they need me to get the items ready or physically assist them. Sometimes they just need items laid out. I try to let them do as much as possible to help them feel independent.”

Be patient and don’t be afraid to ask for help

It’s natural to have good and bad days as a caregiver, especially when helping with personal care for seniors. When you’re feeling frustrated, Via suggests putting yourself in your family member’s shoes to understand how they may be feeling.

“It’s a new and sometimes scary experience for seniors,” she said. “Always be patient, understanding, and communicative.”

She also said you need to know your limits when providing personal care for seniors. When you’re caring for a family member, there may be times when you need to ask for help. It’s best to learn your personal limits, as well as your loved one’s limits. Boundaries can help you develop a healthy and functional caregiving dynamic.

“If your mom won’t shower, take a step back,” Via said. “Maybe someone else can get her to do it, or maybe someone else has an idea to help.”

Consider Senior Living

Remember, you’re not alone in your caregiving journey. If your loved one relies heavily on receiving personal care, it might be a good idea to consider full-time senior living arrangements. Senior living communities provide a variety of personal care for seniors through assistance with daily living activities such as bathing, dressing, grooming, and more. Communities also offer a range of living accommodations, activities, and dining options so that your loved one can be as comfortable as possible.


Interview conducted with Via, S. Chestnut Knoll. June 1, 2020.


Meet the Author
Merritt Whitley, senior living writer and editor

Merritt Whitley writes and edits content for A Place for Mom, specializing in senior health, memory care, and lifestyle articles. With eight years of experience writing for senior audiences, Merritt has managed multiple print publications, social media channels, and blogs. She holds a bachelor’s degree in journalism from Eastern Illinois University.

The information contained on this page is for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute medical, legal or financial advice or create a professional relationship between A Place for Mom and the reader. Always seek the advice of your health care provider, attorney or financial advisor with respect to any particular matter, and do not act or refrain from acting on the basis of anything you have read on this site. Links to third-party websites are only for the convenience of the reader; A Place for Mom does not endorse the contents of the third-party sites.

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