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I need advice on how to assist my dad who has dementia

I need some advice. My Dad 67 has dementia and can't take care of himself anymore. He's fighting me when is comes to moving and has started to become violent because of delusions and thinking I'm trying to take his stuff. I can't trust him anymore and need assistance. What should I do?
Status: Open    Feb 08, 2017 - 03:58 PM

Dementia, Elder Law

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Feb 09, 2017 - 10:52 AM

Dementia? First things first, you need to see a lawyer to get the papers together!
Wills, trusts, Power of Attorney; for healthcare and for finances. Dont attempt to do these over the internet you need a good elder law attorney who can anticipate problems.

Hopefully your father is still competent enough to sign these papers that would allow you to manage his situation. If you don’t have 'legal' control over your father, then you cannot 'force' him to do anything. Get to a lawyer!
If his dementia has made him no longer competent then there are guardianships and conservatorships that allow you to take charge. Get to a lawyer!

When you have the papers in place the next thing is to learn EVERYTHING YOU CAN about his type of dementia. There are 75 different causes of 'dementia'. (Alzheimer's, Lewy body, Frontotemporal, vascular, Parkinson’s, etc, etc, etc) Each situation produces very different life expectancies, very different behaviors. You need to know what to expect, what the future will bring.

In learning about dementia you will also learn how to talk to and deal with someone who does not perceive reality in a normal manner. You will learn about how to talk to them and those situations when telling a lie is better than telling the truth.

Dementia is as much of a disease for the family as it is of the person.
As their care needs increase, the demands on you skyrocket. As their dementia increases you will see that the person in front of you is less and less the father that you once knew and more and more a stranger who behaves bizarrely and uncontrollably.
Educate yourself now to prepare for the future.

Feb 25, 2017 - 04:34 PM

First things first is to have your Dad examined by a MD or a Neuropsychologist to determine where he is at with his dementia. He may need medication to slow down the progression of the disease and to help with his violent behavior. If he is a danger to you he can be taken to an emergency room for immediate care. There are hospitals that have geriatric psych units which would also help with the diagnosis and treating his violence. Gero psychiatric units specialize with this patient population. Good luck with your Dad And take it easy on yourself. There is help out there.
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