Feb 09, 2017 - 10:52 AM
Dementia? First things first, you need to see a lawyer to get the papers together!
Wills, trusts, Power of Attorney; for healthcare and for finances. Dont attempt to do these over the internet you need a good elder law attorney who can anticipate problems.
Hopefully your father is still competent enough to sign these papers that would allow you to manage his situation. If you don’t have 'legal' control over your father, then you cannot 'force' him to do anything. Get to a lawyer!
If his dementia has made him no longer competent then there are guardianships and conservatorships that allow you to take charge. Get to a lawyer!
When you have the papers in place the next thing is to learn EVERYTHING YOU CAN about his type of dementia. There are 75 different causes of 'dementia'. (Alzheimer's, Lewy body, Frontotemporal, vascular, Parkinson’s, etc, etc, etc) Each situation produces very different life expectancies, very different behaviors. You need to know what to expect, what the future will bring.
In learning about dementia you will also learn how to talk to and deal with someone who does not perceive reality in a normal manner. You will learn about how to talk to them and those situations when telling a lie is better than telling the truth.
Dementia is as much of a disease for the family as it is of the person.
As their care needs increase, the demands on you skyrocket. As their dementia increases you will see that the person in front of you is less and less the father that you once knew and more and more a stranger who behaves bizarrely and uncontrollably.
Educate yourself now to prepare for the future.