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Can I take my dad to my house if POA says no

My sister Is Durable POA of my dad. She recently put my dad in assisted living and I would like to take care of him full time. She says no and also sent me a certified letter saying that I may NOT take him out of the facility under any circumstances. What rights does my dad have and may I take him for a weekend visit or extended period of time to stay with me if that is his wish?
Status: Open    Jan 23, 2017 - 07:41 AM

Elder Law

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Jan 25, 2017 - 09:46 AM

The POA allows her to act for him not against him. So yes, you could take him home with you if he wants. Keep in mind that if he is not competent to make decisions your sister could file to be appointed as his guardian. As his guardian, she could prevent his removal from the facility. As the POA she would have priority over you to be appointed his guardian. As POA she could go remove all of his money from the bank and you might not have access to it to help him.

I suggest you speak to an elder law attorney in your area. If your father is competent (attorney will help decide) he could make a new POA and document stating his wishes regarding assisted living or living with you. Removing him from the facility and taking him home, while legally possible, is probably going to cause more problems than he has now. That is why I urge you to seek legal counsel prior to making this move.

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By mikeherz101 on Jan 25, 2017 - 06:59 PM | Like (0)  |  Report

Blake, thank you for your reply and expert advise. I will follow your guidence and seek a lawyer who specializes in this field. Any suggestions for an elder care lawyer in the Northern VA area?

By C. Blake West on Jan 26, 2017 - 08:09 AM | Like (0)  |  Report

I do not know anyone in that area. You can check Avvo.com, lawyer.com or other attorney locating web sites.
Best wishes and Godspeed to you.

By phyllismurphy1 on Feb 11, 2017 - 09:18 AM | Like (0)  |  Report

Blake,
I guess we have to live with the POA rules until we are rid of them. It seems to me like they cause more problems than they solve. It seems like a good idea when the attorney explains them but they need to be pulled out and looked at almost weekly to keep up with the changes in the lives of our modern day elders. I am living with the result of a POA being filled out how many years ago, I don't know when, I have never seen it. But it rules my days, every day. My partner is seriously ill and hospitalized in Nebraska. POA is his daughter. I am mental health professional and I believe she is mentally ill. She has taken control of him in hospital, had the hospital remove all records of him so noone can prove he is there, or not. I am under threat of jail if I enter the hospital again. I love this man so much. We are common law married, not recognized, but can't marry due to my hospital bills ($8,000/month). The worst is that he is dying alone under the 24/hr supervision, with a breathing tube, meaning he can't talk. I can't get help; everybody says the family rules. But what if the family is the perpetrator. A son has been defrauding him for years, still would be if I hadn't arrived. Doesn't the law have a duty to protect an elder from his family? You must wonder about this, too. I am an elder, 81, and I surely do not want my family taking control of my life. We protect our pets, our children, our property, our women, our handicapped, our veterans.... why do we in our culture disrespect our elders, why are we as a culture so afraid to stand up and speak on this issue. How can the family be sacred in t he face of such awful evidence that our elders are being mistreated. We treat our dogs better. Thank you for your letter, Blake. P Murphy

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Jan 27, 2017 - 03:32 PM

There is some risk in going against the directions of his agent, assuming your Dad doesn't have the mental capacity to make his own decisions. If he has capacity he can do what he wishes. He could also revoke the power of attorney.

If he does not have capacity or it's a close call, you may need to explore a protective proceeding in court. When someone disagrees with the decisions of an agent and there is no hope of compromise, the only real option is to resort to the court and ask it to appoint someone as guardian to act in your dad's best interest. That may be your sister, you or more likely a third party. The risk of going to court is a lack of certainty about what the court will do, but sometimes it is the only option. Good luck to you.

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Jan 25, 2017 - 09:46 AM

The POA allows her to act for him not against him. So yes, you could take him home with you if he wants. Keep in mind that if he is not competent to make decisions your sister could file to be appointed as his guardian. As his guardian, she could prevent his removal from the facility. As the POA she would have priority over you to be appointed his guardian. As POA she could go remove all of his money from the bank and you might not have access to it to help him.

I suggest you speak to an elder law attorney in your area. If your father is competent (attorney will help decide) he could make a new POA and document stating his wishes regarding assisted living or living with you. Removing him from the facility and taking him home, while legally possible, is probably going to cause more problems than he has now. That is why I urge you to seek legal counsel prior to making this move.

Comments (3) | New Comment

By mikeherz101 on Jan 25, 2017 - 06:59 PM | Like (0)  |  Report

Blake, thank you for your reply and expert advise. I will follow your guidence and seek a lawyer who specializes in this field. Any suggestions for an elder care lawyer in the Northern VA area?

By C. Blake West on Jan 26, 2017 - 08:09 AM | Like (0)  |  Report

I do not know anyone in that area. You can check Avvo.com, lawyer.com or other attorney locating web sites.
Best wishes and Godspeed to you.

By phyllismurphy1 on Feb 11, 2017 - 09:18 AM | Like (0)  |  Report

Blake,
I guess we have to live with the POA rules until we are rid of them. It seems to me like they cause more problems than they solve. It seems like a good idea when the attorney explains them but they need to be pulled out and looked at almost weekly to keep up with the changes in the lives of our modern day elders. I am living with the result of a POA being filled out how many years ago, I don't know when, I have never seen it. But it rules my days, every day. My partner is seriously ill and hospitalized in Nebraska. POA is his daughter. I am mental health professional and I believe she is mentally ill. She has taken control of him in hospital, had the hospital remove all records of him so noone can prove he is there, or not. I am under threat of jail if I enter the hospital again. I love this man so much. We are common law married, not recognized, but can't marry due to my hospital bills ($8,000/month). The worst is that he is dying alone under the 24/hr supervision, with a breathing tube, meaning he can't talk. I can't get help; everybody says the family rules. But what if the family is the perpetrator. A son has been defrauding him for years, still would be if I hadn't arrived. Doesn't the law have a duty to protect an elder from his family? You must wonder about this, too. I am an elder, 81, and I surely do not want my family taking control of my life. We protect our pets, our children, our property, our women, our handicapped, our veterans.... why do we in our culture disrespect our elders, why are we as a culture so afraid to stand up and speak on this issue. How can the family be sacred in t he face of such awful evidence that our elders are being mistreated. We treat our dogs better. Thank you for your letter, Blake. P Murphy

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