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My husband will be 90 in January and I have been caring for him

I am a 69y.o. married to my 90y.o. husband for almost 35 years. For the last seven years I have been almost his "everything" including the main driver for us, caring for our every social needs, medical needs, spiritual needs, and doing all I can to make him happy. He is an intelligent man and loves spending all his time on the computer. He has no friends in his life. His two adult children remain absent in his life, and I've made years of attempts to bring us together, have healing occur in the broken places, and have offered to do what I can for them to have time with him. All to no avail. I feel alone in caring for their father and even as I try to look for part-time employment to get myself out of the apartment, I just don't know who to turn to. My husband is not in such a condition that he can't care for himself, get something to eat when he wants, or just make attempts to walk around outside and engage others in the area. He just sits and tells me is content, but for years he has just sucked the life almost out of me, his only audience and conversation partner. I am even considering divorcing him and daily praying The Lord to show me some better options to get out of his aging grip on my life and happiness.

Is there an organization that can help? I count on my Sunday times at Church, but I still have to come home to a husband that is not in any way living life to the fullest nor is now a companion for me that makes me feel as though I can endure any longer than I have.

Linda B.
Status: Open    Dec 05, 2016 - 08:01 AM


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Dec 05, 2016 - 03:08 PM

You need respite care to provide you with a break and keep you from getting burned out (although it sounds like you already are). If you have insurance this can be covered, if not you can pay out of pocket anywhere from $9 - $20 to hire a Home Heath Aide or a Personal Care Aide to come to your home and provide services such as light housekeeping, showering, toileting, transport to doctors appointment, medication reminders, feeding, and companionship. I work as a Home Health Aide, I was hired by a daughter who has been taking care of her wheelchair-bound mother for the past 9 years which has become very stressful for her. I allow he to be able to go back to work and do some of the things that she has neglected for years. Good luck with everything.

Stacey L.
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