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Is Assisted Living appropriate for my mom?

My mom is 86 years old and my dad is 90 years old and caring for her. She has symtoms of dementia and needs assistance with all activities of daily living. Due to her incontinence, she is up many times throughout the night having to urinate. My understanding of assisted living is that it is appropriate for folks her age who need informal care with ADLs. Would the fact that she cannot walk to the bathroom on her own in the middle of the night without the likelyhood of falling disqualify her for assisted living?
Status: Open    Nov 07, 2016 - 07:37 AM


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Nov 10, 2016 - 09:53 AM

Thank you for your question. Unfortunately there is not a simple yes or no answer due to regulations and definitions of Assisted Living in each state. The good news is in most states Assisted Living does include assistance in ambulation (walking) to and from the bathroom so it should not disqualify her for assisted living. Determining for sure is quite simple.Assisted Living providers are very accommodating when completing an assessment and will even come out to the home to do so as it allows them to get a true picture of the assistance that is needed and what modifications if any the senior is used to. The assessment is how they determine appropriateness and if they charge levels of care separate from the base rent of room and board the assessment usually drives that too. Assisted Living providers are very knowledgeable about their state regulations and what is allowed or not, so select one or two you feel they would be happy calling home and schedule an assessment. Best of luck to you & your parents.

Nov 10, 2016 - 11:02 AM

Generally an ALF is for people who are ambulatory and who only require “unskilled” assistance with activities of daily living. In the absence of having an aid with her (which you would probably need to hire privately) it is unlikely that an assisted living facility will accept your mother as a resident, based on your description. Moreover, if your mother wakes up frequently during the night and cannot ambulate on her own to the bathroom, it would be imprudent to not have someone supervising her in the event that she does wake up and attempt to get out of bed on her own.

That being said, there are ALF’S that have memory care units that cater specifically to people with dementia. Accordingly, they would be equipped to ensure your mothers safety at all times. I would highly recommend that you explore a memory care facility for your mother. Good luck and please let us know if we can be of further assistance.

Nov 10, 2016 - 03:23 PM

Assisted living regulations vary from state to state. Most states allow for maximum assistance with activities of daily living and are able to assist residents with transfers (some will provide 1 or 2 person transfer assistance), complete dressing, bathing, and some will include feeding as well.

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