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Why is mom so angry and negative about everything?

For the last several years my mom has been a negative angry person, she has over time alienated most of her family. Last year we lost my dad after a long struggle with various health issues and since then she has gone from bad to worse. I know she misses Dad tremendously, as we all do, however her constant berating of everyone and everything has to the point that she is draining all the love I have for her. I have been having problems with my blood pressure and have to make a concerted efforts to let her comments go and just agree with whatever she says, this is harder to do sometimes as she revisits old hurts, (and I mean old hurts, some from as long as 60 years ago about people who are long dead) I feel guilty because really she needs to have someone live with her but I just cannot bring myself to do it, I do see her every day, I take her to all of her doctor appointments and try to be a good daughter but I just wish I could understand why she is so angry and hurtful.

Status: Open    Oct 06, 2016 - 03:10 PM


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Expert Answers

Oct 31, 2016 - 09:40 AM

Perhaps she is feeling lonley and perhaps she herself is begining to suffer from cognitive decline?
Has she been to a Doctor?
Godspeed and best of luck!

Judah Gutwein, LNHA
Regency Nursing Centers, NJ


Oct 11, 2016 - 11:02 AM

Have you asked her? I mean, in a calm conversation. It may be hard to do; but, I am wondering if you are able to be honest with her about it. There may be a number of reasons: loneliness, fears, physical pain. That can even be a Dementia issue. You wrote that she should not live alone. Should she have in home care coming in, or move to an assistance facility? I don't think there is enough information to make a definite answer, but the situation probably won't change without taking some hard-to-make steps
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By jcarsonlws on Oct 22, 2016 - 08:37 AM | Like (0)  |  Report

I agree that more information is needed - you may wish to discuss this with her doctor. My mother was similar - never wanted to participate in anything and only angrily complained about everything from the weather to her old neighbors (long gone) to I got her the wrong kind of toothpaste to everything in the news. I spoke with her doctor, who prescribed a mild anti-depressant. It took a couple of months and things aren't perfect, but they have certainly improved!

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