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What to do if Mom has dementia/alzheimers and Dad does not?

Based on the STRONG recommendation from their PCP, Mom and Dad unwillingly moved from their house to a mobile home on my sister's property several months ago. My sister (POA), brother-in-law, brothers and nephew are doing a great job managing their safety and care. (I live 700 miles away and travel for a long weekend once a month and call parents several times a week.) However, Mom (84) has mid to late stage alzheimers/dementia which is steadily progressing. Dad (88) is with her most of the time and unfortunately is begining to show signs of dementia. My siblings and I have vowed (due to parents wishes) to keep them together as long as possible. Home care has been tried and Mom would not allow them to do anything, then dismissed them. Our goal is to find a facility that allows them to be together and have indiviualized care. We know the move will be difficult, but Mom's behavior is erratic and unpredictable, and all family caregivers are getting to the point where we know that professional assistance is needed. Are there facilities that would not separate them once they are in the facility? While costs are somewhat of a concern, their assets, current income stream and family member's financial assistance probably are not an issue. Thank you.
Status: Open    Oct 02, 2016 - 09:35 AM

Senior Living Communities, Dementia

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Expert Answers

Oct 25, 2016 - 12:57 PM

There are several communities that will allow your parents to live in the same unit and can provide the additional care your father may need. However, the location within the community itself would be determined based on your father's needs. For instance, if they both were to occupy a unit in assisted living, then your father's needs could not disrupt the other resients. An example would include wandering at night and knocking on the doors of others.

If both your parent's occupy a unit in memeory care, then this could proove taxing on your mother, as residents often indicrimenetly wander and would comprimise her privacy.

APFM Staff Answers

Oct 03, 2016 - 08:27 AM

Please feel free to give us a call at 866-568-2989. One of our knowledgeable Senior Living Advisors will be happy to explain the senior living options available in your area, including communities that are able to accommodate couples.
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