How to protect ourselves from threats by mother-in-law?
My elderly mother in law came to stay with us approx. 15 months ago after freakish storms in our area caused her long time home to flood. She began staying with us while we handled getting the various issues of the clean up & repair necessary to get her home ready for her to live in once again. While staying with us we realized she was not in any shape to be caring for herself (even with her home being only 1 mile away from our home). She wanted to stay & seemed to like living with us so we fixed up a bedroom & said 'We love you & Welcome Home'. We go by & check her mail & see to her home regularly still, but she lives here with us. Her health has been declining. We FINALLY convinced her not to drive herself after multiple minor 'oops's' with her car. The last one being her hitting a parked car in a store parking lot - minor damage, all covered by her auto ins.. She fell in Jan. and broke her hip. We called 911, they transported her to the e.r., & she was admitted. She had a rod & screws put in to fix the hip fracture & rehab followed. After being released from rehab, we had home health physical & occupational therapists coming to the house 3x & 2x each week until they deemed it no longer necessary. She has become increasingly manipulative & overly demanding/abusive - especially to my husband (her son) to the point of abuse. She fell again when she decided to make her own bed. Refused to let us take her to the hospital & insisted on waiting until her next check up with the hip doctor (3 weeks later). We tried repeatedly to allow us to take her to have it checked out at the e.r. - she refused every time - all the while becoming more & more abusive as well as physically weaker. She takes 11-15 different medications (depending on the day of the week) & I have developed a system that allows us to keep that straight thus insuring that she gets the prescribed substances at the proper times & whatnot, after her having mistakenly taken 2 days of pills in one day (she thought it was the next day when actually it was because she had just gotten up from a nap the same day. yadda yadda yadda)... She weighs a mere 85-88 lbs & when she really wants to be manipulative she refuses to eat. When the hip dr. saw her & did xrays, they found that she had 'rebroken' her hip. Surgery was three days ago & she was admitted 1 day early for tests & whatnot. While we were there she chose to start hollering 'Son, you're killing me!' just after waiting for & watching his sister leave the hosp. room for coffee, when in fact, no one was touching her - I was standing right beside her bed when she started yelling that at him. She has threatened to call & report abuse stating that she would tell 'them' that he (her son/my husband) was the cause of them - she knows that's 100% false. We are actually afraid to let her come back here after her rehab this time for fear that she'll follow through on that the next time she decides that she wants to throw a fit because she's not getting her way. I realize that oftentimes elderly patients become overly mean - to the point of hateful to their caregivers when they are in pain - but elder abuse is a serious allegation, is there some way that we can protect ourselves against that & still care for her in our home once she recovers physically?
Status: Open Jul 28, 2016 - 07:00 AM
Relationships, Elder Law