Does my mom "have" to go to memory care?
We recently moved our 90 year old mom to assisted living (AL) after two places agreed she only needed assistance with medications. Less than two months of moving in, they are wanting to move her to memory care because she is confused and comes to the front desk unsure whether she lives there. She thought the move was temporary, or just a hotel. We didn't correct her when she referred to it as a hotel because it seemed to make the transition smoother. She can dress, bath and eat without assistance, but she puts her room key and emergency necklace just anywhere when she gets undressed, and then can't find it. (We can easily find it with a "Tile") She is definitely often unaware of time or day, year, etc., but she hasn't needed to know these for years since she has lived alone for almost 30 years. She has always had different hours, sleeping out of boredom and eating whenever she was hungry, gives her a different "norm" than other residents and the AL. They say she is a wanderer or sun downer, but she is not agitated, and she doesn't leave the building. She just goes down to the front desk, walks to the dining room and goes back to her room. (Sometimes several times.) She can easily forget why she was heading in a direction. She was diagnosed with mild cognative impairment, but after the AL director said she was sundowning, they are now labeling her with dementia or alzheimers and she has not been tested for either. (She only scored a 15 out of 30 on the intake exam, but I didn't know what a resident should score) She is completely aware of people around her and their mental state. We don't believe Memory Care would be a good fit for her. We think it will cause her to decline rapidly, as there is no privacy and residents with extreme mental impairments. When we went over the "points" for additional personal needs, "constant cueing" for mental impairment was 30 points. They want to charge 100 points for security checks every two hours, when all she does is watch tv in her room and isn't a danger. (We had them unplug the microwave and stove. Our choices were to pay for security checks, move to a shared unit in Memory Care or hire an outside service for companion care, which is what we are doing. But, the question is also, will we have to move her in the near future, and how detrimental is it to keep moving her?
Status: Open Apr 28, 2016 - 08:20 AM
Dementia, Senior Living Communities