My wife and I have made changes to our home to accommodate my father’s moving in with us after the passing of my mother 2 years ago and several medical issues including mild dementia and several serious falls.
We are the primary caregivers as well as medical and financial POA’s. He still owns a home out of state that he is unable to live in unassisted and I am currently trying to sell it to help finance his care. My brother wanted to buy the home but offered no reasonable compensation as my dad still has a home equity loan left to pay. I offered him a great deal ( ½ the value of the home’s value) but he still tried some of every other option to get it for next to nothing.
Time was passing and my father’s assets were dwindling with the cost of day care facilities, in home care givers and medical expenses, so I told my brother in no uncertain term that he is no longer an option and the house is now on the open market. He has not spoken to me since and barely speaks to my father but has been calling every family member in a rant telling them that as soon as my father passes he is going to sue my wife and I for everything we own, as we are wasting away his true inheritance.
He has not seen my dad since mom’s funeral and for years before that. He recently even told my dad no when dad asked him if he could come visit him.
He has supplied no financial help but told the entire family that his lawyers are ready!
Caregiving is hard enough physically, emotionally and financially on myself, my wife and 3 children. We dont charge my father for anything at all, and my wife is patient with my dad and doesn’t need this extra stress. This is now starting to strain our marriage.
What steps can I take to protect my family and put my wife at ease over these never ending threats?