Apr 06, 2016 - 08:34 AM
You may want to consider bringing in a social worker or geriatric care manager to help guide your family to a workable solution. That way none of you are "in control" of the other and you can rely on an expert, third-party voice.
My concern is that both your brother and you have already experienced anger, burnout, and emotional difficulty being primary caregivers. This can easily tip to family member elder abuse and neglect - even though you love her. There are issues within senior living communities as well. However, you can help offset potential problems by looking into monitoring/oversight products and services. For example, some states allow video cameras in seniors' apartments. You and your other family members could take turns visiting her to make sure she is getting all the care and services to which she is entitled.
Apr 12, 2016 - 08:10 AM
Assuming you have talked with your brother and tried to get him to “see the light,” depending on his behavior, you may need to file for a guardianship over your mother. Guardianship proceedings can be expensive and difficult, particularly where there is in-fighting amongst siblings, but if your brother is actively impeding your efforts to do what you know is best for your mother – particularly if you suspect selfish motives – a guardianship may be necessary for you to best care for your mother.