Apr 06, 2016 - 08:40 AM
Of course this does not always work and can be unproductive and resolve little, but it is a first step that should be taken. My second recommendation would be to have those cooperative in the family have a sit down with the the mother. If she is of sound mind, often simply detailing the situation to her and explaining the pros and cons of each approach may convince her to make decisions that are best for her own interests, especially since your own husband (her son) has mounting health issues himself.
Of course if none of the aboved measures workd, unfortunately legal recourse may be your only option. I am aware that the expense of this route and the time it may take may make it unappealing to you, but it may be the only way to force uncooperative siblings to do the right thing. If you were to go this route, its a good idea to see if there are any close friends or relative who are attorneys that might be willing to offer their time and expertise to pursue whatever legal options required.
I hope these tips gives you some ideas and a bit of hope that all is not lost and that there are things you can try to make the situation better for everyone.
All the best to you and your family.
Apr 06, 2016 - 08:43 AM
First, this is not "your" problem to solve. It is the family's issue to resolve. You need to issue a directive to everyone that you are quitting this job, effective XX date. Perhaps hire a geriatric care manager to guide the family through making decisions that everyone can live with. They can help with identifying alternatives, helping identify sources to cover fees, and so on.
You should not feel guilty - as you said, they aren't doing anything.