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How can I convince my 97 year old aunt to move closer to me?

My aunt is in assisted living facility of her choosing. I feel she is not getting the care she needs and would like her to move closer to me--we live 500 miles apart. Most of her clothes, all of her shoes and jewelry are gone! I tried to get her to move when she could hear and see much better than she can now. I have POA for her, but she was clear that she wished to stay in this facility "until I die." She is 97 years old now. She seems to lack good care--not clean, appears not to be getting medications needed, etc. I would like to be able to see her on a daily basis and make sure she is getting what she needs. Is there anyway I can just move her. she has the funds to execute a move and pay for care.
Status: Open    Mar 22, 2016 - 09:37 AM

Other, Elder Law

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Mar 24, 2016 - 08:21 AM

As long as she has the requisite mental capacity to make decisions for herself, it is her decision. However, if she reaches a point where she can no longer care for herself and becomes a "person in need of protection," then you can petition a court in her county for legal guardianship. The court process would assess her capacity and determine whether she has sufficient mental capacity to care for herself. If not, someone can be appointed to make these decisions for her (such as where to live). We tell clients that this is usually a "nuclear option" to be used as a last resort, as it can be emotional and costly.

If you are trying to convince her, I have had a lot of success in sharing success stories and allowing the elderly person to make the decision for themselves. For example, if I told my parent that I thought they needed to move closer to me, they probably would not do it no matter the circumstances. However, if I shared stories about how Mrs. Jones moved to be closer with her family and that it looks like it's working out well, etc., then that can spark a change. Most folks just want to maintain their dignity as they age and feel like they are still in charge of themselves. Good luck!
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