Mar 12, 2016 - 03:46 AM
after my dad passed away, I saw mom become a hoarder too. Although, she quickly became active with the Senior Center, she then met a very nice man. Married, and had five years with him before he passed. During that time he sold his home, and moved all his stuff into mom's home. My mom had the larger home. The first thing you need to do is understand what is a hoarder. I learned that hoarder/ hoardering a disease that comes from the emotional "lacking" of something in that person's life. My mom came from the depression generation (lived to be 90) as she would often say, it was difficult to find things.
Even once broken, they hung on to it. When my Aunt died we found several broken purses in her closet, never repaired. Just straps, buckles, worn out pouches etc. I thought how strange.
Currently, at this stage, unless your parents are a "threat" - "unsafe" to themselves, there isn't much you can do, unable to do their own
activities of daily living. (ADL's) . Perhaps, if they are receptive, tell them you have a arranged for a cleaning service, "as birthday- anniversary present." Is A local Senior Center often has referrals, meals on wheels, home services, transportation, repair contractors, etc. However, my dad never liked anyone in the house, that was difficult, commenting they didn't like "unfamiliar people" in the home.
I, too lived a distance. However, I will tell you, you do have the advantage of being the only child. (no one else to argue with)
I had two other siblings, that sqwashed any intervention I made with my parents. You don't mention what State you are in, but take this opportunity to follow up (quietly) where your parent's finances are. Each State has their own laws as far as Power of Attorney, Patient Advocate, Spousal rights, Wills etc. Try to get at least that much in order, Start preparing for the next phase, it's a bumpy road..... and make efforts to enjoy what time is left with them. You will have plenty of time to clean up later.... good luck