Feb 13, 2016 - 08:50 AM
The hardest part of caregiving for me at this point is what you expressed...her ability to be pleasant with most (but not all) others, and her ease at turning rude and difficult with me. Many days I have felt emotionally manipulated, and I do sometimes refuse to take part in her unhappiness. I'm trying desperately to understand the characteristics of dementia and Ahlzheimers and to learn coping strategies to reduce the episodes of our "locking horns." I have only my husband to support me, my sister lives 600 miles away and is not involved at all. My adult children see the struggle and are becoming less fond of her as they see her treatment of me becoming worse. Walking the fine line of "honoring my mother" and protecting myself is an hour by hour challenge.
My advice, from my perspective, is if you have the ability to keep her in managed care, continue. She is likely not going to get better nor change once she is in your home. I only wish I had the option to simply visit her daily and make sure she had what she needs. I thought being in the home with family coming and going would bring about positive change in her outlook. She enjoys my grandchildren on a limited basis, but then retreats to her room. In fact, lately she is demonstrably jealous of my close relationship with my daughters.
At 60 years old, we still have lives to live and our own health to consider. I pray you can make this hard decision well.
Jun 12, 2016 - 08:50 PM