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Should dad see the report diagnosing his dementia?

Dad lives with me but is on the waiting list for an nearby assisted living community, he says he's not going there, he wants to live alone. He can no longer cook or remember to take his meds or go out without getting lost, clearly he cannot live alone. We are in the process of getting papers filed for guardianship. In the meantime, do I show him the doctor reports stating he has dementia and is unable to live alone?
Status: Open    Feb 10, 2016 - 12:26 PM

Caregiving, Dementia

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Feb 17, 2016 - 09:22 AM

In all likelihood, if you show him the diagnosis he will soon forget it. The downside of doing that is that he will likely become agitated when you show him. Unfortunately, the reality is that there's no positive benefit with sharing the information, and more than likely it will result in an unpleasant scenario. Consider using another approach to getting his acceptance of living in a new community. Focus on the positives, and always speak in upbeat terms when discussing the change.


Feb 12, 2016 - 01:35 PM

Show him or not it will not make a difference.
He may understand for a moment that the doctors have diagnosed Dementia but he will be upset for a while then forget. You may show him again but the cycle will continue.
He does not want to go to because he does not want to change. "We" don't like change and it is particularly difficult with dementia.
Your Dad will wake up in a "new" place every day for months. It will take time for him to learn where he is, where the bathroom is, where he eats breakfast, lunch and dinner. He will lose his previous friends and he will have to learn to make new friends. Think back how scared you were starting a new school or a new job. You were scared and you could remember peoples names, where the bathrrom was and you knew you were going back home at the end of the day. His fears are worse because he knows his memory is failing and it is more difficult to compensate.
Just tell him that you love him and that you want him safe.
He will argue.
Just tell him again that you love him and want to keep him safe.


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