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How do I get a competency exam for my husband without him realizing what we are doing?

He thinks he is fine even though he has gotten lost multiple times, can't remember how to use a can opener or remember the names of our neighbors. His last physical was a year ago and he is physically health.
Status: Open    Feb 04, 2016 - 09:10 AM

Senior Health & Nutrition

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Feb 06, 2016 - 06:05 AM

I made an appointment for an exam then I told my husband.
I am sure if you are concerned he is as well.
I have read that many people have been "hiding" or "covering up" memory problems for 10 years before they are diagnosed.
I can just imagine how frightening that must be and how exhausting it must be for them to try to seem "normal" when everything around you is not the way it is supposed to be. You get lost going to the store, you can't remember a name, you can't figure out how to open a can, on and on.
I would make an apointment with a neuro psychologist or a neuologist then tell your husband you have made the appointment.
If you have to go through your primary they may do a MME (mini mental exam) in the office. If your doctor does not think there is a problem you need to push and be very insistant that you see a sepcialist. I/we were put off for a while and while I don't think it made a difference in the long run I will never know.
If his last exam was a year ago he would be due for another so if you have to go through your primary now would be a good time to make the appointment.
If it is possible you might even want to send the doctor an email in advance explaining your concerns without your husband aware of the communication.

Feb 06, 2016 - 08:48 AM

One option is to locate a senior health program where they offer a comprehensive geriatric evaluation, and bill it as a checkup and tune-up of medical needs for both of you, since he is due for a physical soon anyways and you would love to have him with you when you get yours done. The team will usualy include a social worker who can work with you on resources and help for you as a caregiver, and help you in talking to other famiy members whose support and understanding will be needed too. You can let them know in advance what has actually been going on, as he would undoubtedly tell them he is fine and having no problems, or even blame all the problems on you! Sorry this is happening to you...
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