Jan 23, 2016 - 06:26 AM
You don't say how old you are? Your sister may well be negative in a way that is new to you.
I'm in my 82nd year. I am not depressed, nor suicidal. The women in my family live a long time. . . from 86 to 97. I'm healthy, but I live with chronic back pain, and my vision is changing. Nouns escape, sometimes I forget what I was planning to say. The man I loved died almost 20 years ago. I wrote a novel last year. I love my own cooking. I enjoy playing board games, and chatting on facebook with my teen-age grandsons.
But shopping is difficult, and paying bills an annoyance. I do not like pharmaceuticals. I only deal with doctors who I know respect my opinion, and are honest with me. Is this possible with your sister?
We are all different, but here's what I am likely to say to my son and friends 10 years my junior: "Everyone has died." That's not negative, that's fact. The people I worked with, my lover, my dancing parter, friends my age, relatives my age or younger, are gone. It feels odd to be a survivor in the 21st Centruy, but it's not negative speech, just a stated fact, sometimes to the dismay of younger relatives. I've purposely made friends with people 10, 20, 30 years younger than myself, since I'd prefer not to outlive them. One of my sons has high-blood pressure, the other hasn't been to a doctor in over 20 years, so it is quite possible that I might outlive both of them. OR, I could fall over from an unknown cause next month. To say: "No one knows how long I will live", when I say it, is not negative, it's just truth. I declared Christ Mass to be over this year. No decorating, no mandatory gifts. We decorated my phony tree with objects unrelated to the season, plan to leave it up all year. We made fondue and played Upwords. That's the new thing, because I declared it, and my small family group was fine with it.
What I know is that there is a time of acceptance: I am old. and no-one knows how much longer I will live. That can look negative to others. Your sister might well need emotional help. Or she may just be stating facts you're not comfortable hearing. OR, she may just need you to join in the acceptance, without letting it bring you down, or affect your more positive point of view.