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He doesn't have dementia so why has my husband become so irrational?

My husband has had three strokes and brain surgery. He hasn't had therapy for over a year (Medicare cut it off) and is now totally wheelchair bound. He has also begun refusing to eat or drink more than minimal amounts of liquid but is obsessed with having to use the restroom. He has been tested multiple times for kidney and bladder issues but everything is normal. He demands to be taken to the bathroom and lifted onto the toilet numerous times a day with no result because he has not eaten. He is frantic about being bathed 3 or 4 times daily and has trimmed his fingernails so short they bleed. His requests/demands are about every ten minutes.
His doctors have tested him for dementia multiple times but he is fine. He has become paranoid and doesn't not want me to leave the house because he thinks I am meeting another man. If I need to go to the store I have to either call him every 5 minutes or take his daughter with me. This is disruptive to her life but he doesn't care. He monitors my internet usage, the only reason I can send this is because I'm using my step-daughter's phone.
Status: Open    Jan 07, 2016 - 08:58 AM

Caregiving, Relationships

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2 answers


Jan 23, 2016 - 05:24 AM

Clearly things are happening with your husband that need attention by a neuro-psychiatrist, who could evaluate his emotional/physical state. He may not have demenia, but he is not fine. I am not a physician, nor, past 80, have I had a stroke. But I have seen folks who express suicidal impulses by refusing food and drink. And while you continue to be mobile, he isn't, so he projects his fear onto your behavior. Repeat, those are just an old woman's observations.

What I do know for sure: the most ridiculous limitation Medicare imposes is a limited amount of money for physical therapy within a calendar year. You say he hasn't had therapy for over a year, so he is probably eligible for this year. Another odd thing about Medicare and PT is that while you can see any medical specialist you choose, PT must be ordered by a physician. Please see his primary doctor about referrals to a neuro-psychiatrist and physical therapy. Being with people, being touched and talked with in a pleasant PT setting, may be of some help.

Jan 25, 2016 - 12:51 PM

One item that you didn't mention was if your husband is on prescription drugs. I assume he is, probably 3-6 of them. My husband has high blood pressure and diabetes. Over the years he has had numerous small strokes. The first 2 he went to work and told me when I got home from work (12 hours later). Long story short, the doctors kept putting him on different meds, always 2 or 3 at a time. I noticed a personality change, but figured it was from the strokes. After about 4 years of this we both had enough of the pills, they really weren't working. I decided to find out everything I could about natural nutrition instead of pharmacy. It's been about 2 years since he stopped taking prescription pills for his blood pressure and he's doing fine. 2 years ago I thought he would be in a nursing home by now. Instead his personality is back to normal, he just had cataracts removed and is doing puzzle books again. He still has small side effects from the strokes, but we can live with that. All he needed was vitamins and minerals that our bodies need.
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