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How do I tell my mom who has Alzheimer's that Dad passed away in July?

Status: Open    Oct 12, 2015 - 08:16 AM


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Expert Answers

Oct 12, 2015 - 11:27 AM

The first question you may want to consider is "will reminding her of this event help her situation"? I'm assuming that she was informed in the past, and has now forgotten the event. If that is the case, she likely will not retain the memory even if you bring it up again. Focus instead on the things that she gravitates towards and makes her happy.


Oct 18, 2015 - 10:05 AM

I would guess that you told her in July that he had passed.
If that information upset her why continue to have her relive the news.
If she asks tell her that "Dad could not be here today" that is the you are not lying to her you are saving her from the hurt that she would feel learning of his death.
I hope you have had time yourself to grieve for the loss of your Dad as well as for your Mom.

Nov 13, 2015 - 08:17 PM

If it were me, I would not tell her. If she asks where he is, I would say he is not here right now, or he is at work whatever will make her feel okay. Having her relive the grief of finding out her husband died is cruel and not going to serve any good purpose.

There is a Facebook group called Memory People. It is a closed group and you have to ask to join, but they have thousands of people who either have dementia themselves, or are caregivers and they have tons of information and resources right at your fingertips. Give it a look. Lots of love to you and be blessed.

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