Oct 09, 2015 - 12:14 PM
I, too, am surprised that a nursing home would not make sure that your mother is bathed. Is this a skilled nursing facility or an assisted living facility? It sounds more like it is assisted living. When my cousin lost interest in bathing, I had to step in and play the ‘bad guy’ and tell her that she will bathe and then discuss how and when the bath/shower will take place.
Have you discussed the problem with the nursing director to develop a plan of care? This works best with the involvement of your mum. Even if she doesn’t fully agree, she will at least know the plan. They can make some concessions for your mum so she feels like she is getting some consideration. (For my cousin, it was that they would let her sleep later and bathe her last.)
It would be helpful if you could be there when it is time to bathe from time to time. If this is an assisted living facility, you may have to consider a board and care or skilled nursing facility. You did not mention if your mum has dementia, but if she does, you might look for a place that works with people with dementia. They are used to working with people who are resistant to bathing and grooming.
Good luck in watching out for your mum. She is lucky to have someone like you that cares about her.