Nov 10, 2015 - 12:49 PM
Of course whoever is caring for a parent is giving up gainful employment and pay and benefits that go along with it, especially if it is over an extended period of time. I had a good job, good savings and good retirement when I began caring for my mother. I did not get paid, in fact, I paid most of the bills because mother had a small monthly income. After about 10 years, I ran out of money and mother decided then to go with a reverse mortgage on OUR home, which I signed a quitclaim deed to my half. Soon afterward, my father passed away and my mother "inherited" his social security income.and few payments to make so, me being out of money and receiving a small retirement income due to leaving my job at age 50 to care for mother, I was looking toward Medi-Cal qualification up the road and thought she should pay me at least 1/2 of her monthly income, which she refused to do. I was so devastated that she would be so stingy with me after me being so kind and generous with her all these years, and my siblings (who didn't offer to help me with any caregiving duties) sided with mother that she shouldn't have to pay me to care for her! That is when things started going south and, try as I may, I began suffering major burnout.due to my family's apparent lack of compassion, appreciation or support on any level--not to mention my mother's greediness and blatant disrespect for anything I had done during the two decades of caring for her. Unbelievable that my family would be so selfish and cruel. The home went into foreclosure since the bank owned it when mother passed last March, went to auction yesterday and I am now having to get out ASAP if I want any $$ for the house keys (which I do because it is all I will have to find another place, or whatever is needed). So I have no home, no money and I just found out my 12 year old dog is dying at the vet this a.m. Life xxxx but, in reality, I hope I have learned this lesson and my life will be more fulfilling; something positive has to come from all this living hell, or so I choose to believe just to keep me out of the asylums! Good luck all, and make sure you know what you are getting into before committing to anyone--even someone you love.