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How can I help my elderly mom when she is in denial and combative?

My mother is 74 and has always been a difficult person. She has never taken what she perceives to be criticism kindly. She becomes angry and combative. Extremely defensive. She would rather wind up on the street rather than let us help her. She will not acknowledge what everyone around her has, she is sufffering from dementia.
Status: Open    Aug 17, 2015 - 12:49 PM

Relationships, Dementia

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Aug 17, 2015 - 09:37 PM

Being a caregiver is hard work, any way you look at it, add the memory loss component and it is two-fold.

When I am working with families in situations like this I encourage them to continue to be their loved one's best advocate, whether they are cooperative are not. Be sure you are communicating with her physician's nurse and any other practioner who may be involved in her care. If at any point you feel she is in immediate danger you can always request a 'well-check' by police and/or place a call to Adult Protective Services with your concerns. They will often do some form of an intake and likely send someone out if you believe she is in danger to herself or others.

All you can do is continue to play 'in the background' as I like to call it. It will be exhausting but hopefully you have support within your own family and friends. This link might also be helpful too.


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By godz1gurl on Aug 22, 2016 - 02:54 PM | Like (0)  |  Report

My 87-year old mother with NPD has named my two older half-sibs as her POAs: They both live 1800 miles away, while I live in the same town as Mom. My sibs don't want to be involved with Mom's care, yet Mom seeks their advise while discounting mine. Presently, Mom still lives in her home but with falls and frailty, senior living or a nursing home is on the horizon. How do I either: 1) Encourage FULL family participation in decision making, or (if they really aren't interested), 2) Gently encourage my sibs to butt out? Unfortunately, with Mom's mental disorder, the four of us have always been played off against each other. Sadly, that's not going to change after all these decades. Thanks for your help.

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