Feb 06, 2016 - 08:32 AM
Seriously - consider not doing it. If she is happy and adjusted to the assisted living facility, being in your home could be isolating and boring and she might need YOU to personally supply all the attention and activities that the facility and its staff were able to provide. Consider visits for special occasions first, and realize that even a 10 day trial peroid at home with you might still be in a "honeymoon" phase of sorts. Realize that you can be more involved with her now that youare closer, without necessarily taking on all the responsibility of providing all care and supervision. Ask the staff at Prestige Care how much supervision she needs, what all she does during her days there, what care they are providing for her, and whether she can be left alone for short periods of time or not. Then assess your resources accordingly, and realistically. Maybe it will be great - maybe you will be one of the ones who never needs to write to AgingCare or here about how burnt out you are and how you wished you could keep Mom at home but can't provide all the care for her and stil have any time for yourself or other family, but now there is no room available in the facility you want, and she is on a long waiting list for one. The chances of things being "perfect" are frankly, slim. Even if things are ideal it will be a big adjustment. I would not take mom's "yes" as a reasoned, thoughtful judgement, let alone a guarantee that it will go as well as you hope. For it to really be better for Mom than where she is, there has to be support, she has to have level of care that can be managed with that support, you have to have an excellent relationship where you can communicate rationally about problems or conflicts, there have to be advantages to living with you in terms of her quality of life. Don't let your idealistic desire to be a Good Daughter and take care of Mom at home become more improtant than her actual happiness. After all, there is a reason she is in assisted living in the first place, and that reason will not go away by your changing her location. Sorry to be Debbie Donwner here. Again, maybe your situation is more ideal than many andit could be wonderful to have her home with you. Just think about it with total honesty first.