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What do I do when dad refuses to pay for assistance?

Dad has emphysema and stage 4 cancer. he is subject to seizures because the cancer has metastasis to his brain. He lives alone, he refuses to move out of the house. He's stubborn and refuses to pay for in home services because he assumes I will just do everything he needs. I am not good at fighting with him and I need assistance. What do I do?
Status: Open    Aug 14, 2015 - 07:33 AM

Finance, Caregiving

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2 answers


Aug 14, 2015 - 02:44 PM

Have you considered HOSPICE, as it is a Medicare benefit. This may be a means to have support for both YOU (the caregiver) and him without him feeling like he has to pay out of pocket. Hospices also have a social worker on staff that can help facilitate future needs of resources, etc as well as helping communicate with the patient, in this case your Dad.

A good first step to initiate hospice is to contact his physician for the order. Calling a local hospice too may be beneficial as they may be able to help get the order as well. A simple inquiry call is all you need to get the process started. That way a 3rd party is involved and doing some of the 'telling' vs. you, the daughter. No matter how old, frail or ill parents become they still see us as their CHILDREN and switching to the caregiver role is a very hard transition for so many parents.

Aug 26, 2015 - 01:15 PM

They are wonderful, kind, caring people.
He will have a nurse that will visit, a CNA a few times a week to help him shower maybe help with a meal, a Social Worker will also visit.
This Team will help him as well as you and keep you informed as to changes and if he needs more help.
But having this group in will help you as you will have a break from caring for him while they are there.
They will work with his physician as well as the Doctor at the Hospice.
The Nurse and the CNA can work magic in helping getting someone that is difficult to comply with allowing them to help.
As you can tell I am in love with the Hospice team that is helping me care for my husband so this may be a little biased.
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