Aug 07, 2015 - 08:58 PM
I say this because I, too, had a mother as you describe. I was told I was going straight to hell because I loved to dance. My mother didn't realize it, but she was addicted to tranquilizers in a day that they didn't know how addicting they were. Her impossible behavior wounded four of the 7 children she raised. I was one of the four. She attacked one time too often and somehow, I had an opportunity to have a peaceful, tear filled talk with her before the dementia was intense. I shared with her how hurt I felt about how she talked to me and compared me to my "better sister" What was most interesting was, she was totally unaware of my feeling unloved. We both cried and a forgiveness and beautiful healing came between us. Even though the dementia progressed, she was sweet to me the rest of her life and she knew all of us until the end.
I would never fault you with staying away. You have been hurt enough. I would suggest, however that you might perhaps with someone who loves you, face her and tell her how she has hurt you. Even if there is not a reconciliation, you will be free of the control she has had on you most of your life. My mother and my husband both were verbally abusive to me. Chains fell off of me when I confronted each of them. From that day on, I was never afraid of them. Since that day, no one has ever treated me with disrespect. I will nip it in the bud. It's sounds unthinkable to confront someone who is in a weakened state. However, I think you need to be free and if she never talks to you again, you are free of your tormentor. Carol Arbuckle RN, BSN
Source: Carol Arbuckle RN,BSN--a soul set free
Aug 09, 2015 - 10:59 AM
Aug 09, 2015 - 09:46 PM
My mom thinks I am the mischievous one. She proceeded to push me and punch me in the face for no reason.
My mom has become an evil person, and I am done. She has thrown more temper tantrums in the past two weeks than I can count.
She scares me, I don't want to become her punching bag.
When she is angry, you can see in her eyes, this is not her.
She might be possessed, maybe an exorcism would do the trick.
Either way, I am DONE! No more visits, accepting phone calls, taking her out for a drive.
She is no longer my mom, just a shell of the person she used to be.
So sad, but I can't deal with her anymore.
Karma is coming back to her, she hated her mom and put her in a county run nursing home that was disgusting. I have placed my mom in the best place ever. Our inheritance will be negative zero, but at least I know - someone else can deal with her!
Never going back again.
Aug 10, 2015 - 10:29 AM
Aug 10, 2015 - 03:02 PM
Nov 12, 2015 - 01:00 PM
When the disease advances to the point that she no longer knows who I am, I will cease the phone calls. She has vast assets which are quickly being eroded by her unpleasant and unethical legal guardian. I don't need/care/want an inheritance.
i cannot say the same for her other family members. As long as my Mother is appropriately cared for in her home and reasonably happy, I force myself to bite my tongue. Sometimes when I am feeling angry or overwhelmed by the nastiness of her guardian and money hungry relatives, I remind myself that I have done my best to protect her.