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Dad was cleared by his doctor, why won't the nursing home let him return?

We just placed my dad in a nursing home. Yes, he yelled obscenities, yes he was incontinent, yes he was agitated at times (at evening or night time), yes he could wander but not very far (he walked very slow.) So he had sundowners and an intestinal infection. He was there for 13 days, during that time he had a TIA and the staff had to be told by me. They made changes to his existing medicines, added lyprexa and ativan. He became more agitated, I feel confident it was due to all of the changes. New meds, new home, and illness. They sent him for a psych consult. They have had him for less than 5 days and feel he is not aggressive just agitated. Changed his meds to lower dose and dropped the zyprexa. Kidney was off so they improved his creatine #'s and said he is good to return to the home. The home is now reluctant to take him, said he should stay in the psych ward for 2-wks to a month. The doctor's in the hospital said he doesn't belong there stated so after 3 days. What do I do now? Of course the nursing home still collects their what do they lose...nothing
Status: Open    Jun 17, 2015 - 08:03 PM

Dementia, Caregiving

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Jul 08, 2015 - 07:53 AM

Without good discovery from both sides of the issue, it is very difficult to give you a definitive answer. I think you have reason to be upset, but ultimately the challenge in your situation comes down to the horrible disease your dad is dealing as much as the decisions being made by the memory care and psychiatric hospital.

From an assisted living perspective, I am inclined to agree with the community in your case. Three days with some major medication changes is not enough time to level off and assess his condition and I wouldn't accept him back for less than a week of observation.

It sounds like you need to do two things, and I say this as respectfully as possible. First, you need to really assess your dad's current condition and the challenges and risks it poses to you and others. He is your father, and I have all the empathy in the world for your situation, but it is always helpful to step back and look from different perspectives. Second, I recommend on you deciding on who to trust - or at least who you ought to give the benefit of the doubt to. I understand your agitation that your dad in in psych shortly after being place in memory care, but it happens on occasion. If you feel that you made the right decision in placing him at the memory care, take the time to build a relationship with the staff and start building that trust. There is no one-size fits all in any situation, and in your dad's it sounds like they are taking a reasonable course of action.

PS - When you have some time, sit down with the administrator and ask them to negotiate a reduced rate while your dad is in the hospital.
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