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How do I find a home for my aggressive father?

My father has been in a memory care facility for the last six months. Last week he woke up in the middle of the night, went into another resident's room and slapped her several times, leaving bruises. Understandably, the son of the other patient was upset, and now we have been told that, because of the safety of the other patients, my father cannot live there any longer. He is at home with us right now with a 24 hour a day caregiver, but this is only a short-term solution. What kind of facility should I be looking for that will provide him the care he needs and will ensure safety for those around him?
Status: Open    Jun 03, 2015 - 03:48 AM

Caregiving, Dementia

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Jul 14, 2015 - 02:06 PM

You father is very lucky to have you and in the same breath being a caregiver is difficult even for someone who is compliant and agreeable. Have you talked to his doctor about the medications he is on? Sometimes a physician can refer a family directly to a geriatric inpatient unit where they can receive a 10-day medication evaluation (and often stabilization) to help balance out his moods.

As a former director of assisted living, specializing in memory care, it might behoove you to talk to the former facility to see if/what his triggers may have been. Was this a one time, first time incident? Did they have a fire drill that day that may have set him on edge? Maybe they had a dinner he didn't like and was therefore hungry. While none of that excuses physical aggression I often found that a trigger was in fact in place. I used to direct my staff if a resident woke in the middle of the night to prompt them with a glass of milk, a snack, a visit to the toilet as well as ask questions to ensure they weren't in any pain (a headache, etc), these can often be triggers for a physical outbreak that was otherwise non-existent or relatively rare.

Hopefully your physician can talk you through his medications and maybe there is a different dose or type to try if in fact you aren't able to pinpoint any triggers.
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