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How do I introduce Dad to his new caregiver?

My mom and I are trying to introduce my dad to a caregiver to help my mom get out of the house for a few hours a week. Any suggestions on how to introduce this stranger?
Status: Open    May 26, 2015 - 04:41 PM

Caregiving

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May 31, 2015 - 11:05 AM

I would start by having Mom stay home for a while when the caregiver starts. This way all 3 of them can get to know each other. Maybe when lunch is getting ready Mom can "run to the store to get some milk" and she can do a few errands and then come back.
The next time the caregiver is there your Dad will be a little more relaxed with Mom running out for a bit.
If your Dad and the caregiver get involved with a project or going for a walk it will be easier and easier for Mom to leave. After a while Dad won't even notice when she runs out for a bit.

Jun 04, 2015 - 10:37 AM

Does your father have dementia? If so, the response below is great. Creating a distraction is a good idea, I often equate such things to caregivers as the first time you dropped your child off at school or daycare, they will adjust, and do better if someone isn't there to lean on. In addition to the distraction having a caregiver that is confident in what he/she is doing is important too. If your dad insists he doesn't need help, 'fires her' (which some folks with dementia do to caregivers) instructing the caregiver to continue on about his/her tasks or duties and validating your Dad but continuing on with work is an important conversation up front.

I have worked with some families in the past whose loved one (with dementia, and others without) who 'fire' the caregiver claiming they don't need help, care is too expensive, etc and the caregiver leaves telling the resposible party 'they fired me.' Just being upfront with the caregiver about how to handle such situations should they arise is important and helps any misunderstandings down the line.

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