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Could this behavior indicate Alzheimer's?

My mom's mid stage Alzheimer's, almost 75, and suffers with severe agitation. Day in, day out, for the last year or so, she hallucinates and has delusions that my father's having an affair with the 90 year old lady who lives bedridden, across the street. This is all she talks about 24/7. What really maddening is the fact that she's extremely verbal about it; this is all she talks about constantly. She also talks to this woman as if she's in the house, constantly yelling at her to get out. She curses at her as if she's there. She threatens her and throws things at her, as well as at my father. She kicks in the walls, bangs on them, bangs on the doors and tables, thrown things at my dad and is just generally chronically stressed out. This continues for hours on end, only to finally stop when, in utter exhaustion, she walks calmly into the den where my father's sitting, sits down near him, and slowly falls asleep against him, for an hour or so, only to start up again when she awakes. She still recognizes people and eats and goes to the bathroom on her own. The extreme aggressiveness and combativeness against my father, though, is a major problem and not one that is easily rectified.
Status: Open    May 20, 2015 - 04:23 AM

Dementia, Relationships

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3 answers



May 31, 2015 - 01:01 PM

YES. YES. YES. Get her away from your father. My 80yo mother hallucinates crazy stuff and still recognized me & my siblings until recently. She also is physically more healthy than many 60 year olds. Best Wishes.

Jun 20, 2015 - 11:42 AM

Your family is very lucky to have you looking out for them and seeking advice. It sounds as if it would be in the best interest of everyone involved if your father had some kind of respite care for her or maybe even a little something more permanent. Have you considered contacting an eldercare advisor with A Place for Mom? They often have some helpful resources and information for situations just like this. Since I am not sure where you are located an advisor will have specific inforamtion to your location to include some resources and possible programs she may qualify for.

You can reach your local advisor at 1-866-568-2989.

Jan 10, 2017 - 01:40 PM

Try having a caring conversation with your Father to ask if this incident ever happened or if your Mother may have thought so at one point. A person with Alzheimer's and other dementias can spin a fantastic story out of the slightest (tiniest) kernel of truth. Once you have a handle on how this may have started your can then create fiblets to address it. You may tell your Father to apologize to your Mother about the indiscretion and then tell her that the lady has moved away to love with her daughter. Since she is bedridden, there is little chance your Mother will see her. Tell your Father to continually reassure her that he loves her and that he would never do it again.

As they move backward in time they relive old traumas in their lives. This is likely what is happening to your Mother. When she thinks that the lady is in the house, instead of telling her that she is not there, why not shoo her out of the house (your Father included). Some of her agitation may be coming from the fact that no one believes her and ignores her feelings.

It takes a bit of trial and error, but once you can identify the nugget of truth, you can start to work around it.

I wish you luck!

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