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How do I cope with my aging parents?

I don't like the role reversal, and am not comfortable being a caregiver. I was raised to honor and respect my parents and I know they need help that I can no longer provide but it just seems disrespectful to force them into something even if it's in their best interests.
Status: Open    Apr 21, 2015 - 03:16 PM


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2 answers


May 08, 2015 - 07:48 AM

Your parents are very lucky to have you on their side in this time of change. I would encourage you to reach out to an A Place for Mom advisor who can talk you through all your options as a family both in and out of the home. Having someone else involved and advocating for you and your family will help alleviate some of the stress you are feeling. The advisors are knowledgable to options in your specific area and you will likely find them a wealth of knowledge. I believe you can reach them at by calling 1-866-568-2989 for your free consultation. This article also addresses role reversal in caring for an elderly parent(s)


May 23, 2015 - 01:13 PM

Do not feel guilty if you have to arrange living arrangements for your parents in assisted or memory care.
By doing this you are seeing to their best interests in the fact that there will be trained staff that will care for them.
This will leave you a bit more stress free so the time you do spend with them will be more relaxed.
Yes they will not be happy at first but who is when made to move from a home that you have had for years. And a place where you know where everything is. At first the move will be confusing and they will wake every moring having to figure out where things are. But they will get used to it and become fimiliar with surroundings.
If you have to have a creagiver come into the house they will resent that as well and again they will get used to having a "stranger" around. But long term it may not be safe for them to be living alone so transition to assisted living might be easier than making 2 transitions, the first having someone come in then months or a year later having to move. Sometimes a move is easier when they are more adaptable.
Bottom line is you are showing respect and honoring them by helping to provide the best care possible, no one can do it all.
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