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Can I talk to mom's doctor without her finding out?

I'm worried about her memory but every time I go with her to her appointment she puts on a good face and convinces him that she is fine.
Status: Open    Feb 06, 2015 - 10:16 PM


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APFM Staff Answers

Feb 21, 2015 - 12:09 PM

If you have Healthcare Power of Attorney or Guardianship over Mom you can certainly request a private meeting with her Doctor or Nurse. Sometimes this may be a phone call ahead of time to explain the situation so that they are prepared for her visit and can ask more questions or even administer a mini-mental test to determine her level of memory loss. They would probably wish to do this in a very casual manner such as by telling her that it is a new policy to conduct this test to all patients. Another option is to request to meet with the Dr. before your Mom goes in when you take her there. This method is harder to do without Mom noticing. Either way it is important that her Dr. is aware of your concerns and they can guide you further on the best course of action for treatment. If you do not have Power of Attorney or Guardianship (and neither does anyone else in your family) I would suggest that you pursue this sooner rather than later. If Mom does have memory loss it will only get increasingly more difficult for her to make good choices concerning her own health and well-being so she will need an advocate to assist in those decisions.


Mar 01, 2015 - 07:21 AM

I have found out that because of the privacy act (Hippa, I think) doctors will not talk to you unless your parent has signed saying it is ok. Before my dad did that, I called the nurse and told her my concern, his driving, and asked her to put note in doctors notes for next visit. He read it and discussed with my dad at the visit.


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