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How to convince elderly parents to move

I live in FL with my daughters & my 95 yr old mom lives in NJ? She wont come here- My job & kids are here. I had a beautiful large home which I tried to keep years after my husband passed. My mom kept promising to come live with us to help out and so we could all be together. I used up all of my savings and retirement funds counting on her false promises. I even got a car I am not crazy about because I knew she would not be able to climb up into my jeep. I lost my house 2 years ago and have been living in apartments. I cannot afford more than a 2 bedroom apartment and even now I share a room with one of my daughters. She throws it in my face that I did not get a bigger apartment but I cant afford it and she's not coming. I even checked with her before i moved into the unit I am in now. She said no i will stay where I am and then after I moved in its my fault again.
I fly to NJ to see her whenever I am able. Usually a weekend once every month or two months.

She recently told me she needs a place to go live but she has conditions. She wants her own room which I understand. She has been very depressed and her leg is tired and worn out - she cannot get around without a walker and I live week to week and neither she or I can afford a retirement community- assisted living or nursing home. I am going to lose it. What can I do.

I told her she could come with us and I would sleep on the couch with one daughter and she could have my room.
She wants to bring her furniture and then says one room isnt enough. Its always something UGH
Status: Open    Feb 18, 2015 - 01:41 PM

Caregiving, Relationships

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APFM Staff Answers

Mar 26, 2015 - 11:07 AM

Thank you for your question! We have a couple articles on the A Place for Mom blog regarding how to persuade parents to move that may be of interest to you.

One of our Senior Living Advisors who specializes in your area would also be able to give you location specific ideas and options, we can be reached at 866-568-2989.


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