Feb 11, 2015 - 01:25 PM
You may also hire a geriatric care consultant to help you make decisons with where and how to help your mother.
I also recommend you and your brother own long term care plans as there is a possibility that you will need care giving in the future.
Feb 12, 2015 - 07:38 AM
An effective technique that has made the transition easier for us here at The Fremont has been to move in a day. In the morning, say around 8AM, a family member or two takes mom out to breakfast and something else that mom enjoys, perhaps to the mall or shopping. While mom is out of the house, movers and family move the furniture and personal necessitites to the community and set up the room as though she has lived there for some time. Pictures get mounted to the wall, everything functions, etc. This may take family until 2-3pm. Once everything is ready at the memory care, it is time to take mom to get involved in the program. I usually recommend that one or two family members only drop mom off. She may be tired or she may still be up. The key at this point - and it is very difficult - is to act as though mom has been living at the memory care for some time. There shouldn't be any crying or goodbyes, etc., in front of mom. She is going to her home as if she has been living there. All the staff know her name, know her interests, know her likes and dislikes and welcome her similarly.
This doesn't work for everyone. However, when it comes to memory care, the thing to take away is that our natural reaction toward guilt and tears and saying goodbye are often the triggers that can make the transition harder.