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Do I have to take care of my aging parents?

What happens if I decide not to get involved at all with parent what is the worst that can happen to me, go to jail. I am ready, I can't help my 79 year old mother who lives in Florida. I am 60 don't have any financial means or time to help her & I have not seen her since 2008 now she thinks I can drop everything and help her can't do it. I told her to call elder services of Florida, she does not want to she has no funeral arrangements and uses all her money to feed 50 cats. I told my wife I am ready to go to jail for as long as it takes but I can't pay her bills or drop my job and go over at a whim.
Status: Open    Feb 02, 2015 - 09:07 AM

Caregiving, Relationships

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Feb 03, 2015 - 07:41 AM

In approximately half of all states a "filial responsibility" is on the legal books indicating adult children have a legal responsibility to support their parents when their parents don't have sufficient income to take care of themselves. For more specific information on this type of law, check with an elder care attorney in your state.

It is possible self neglect, a form of elder abuse is occurring. There are many things that can cause an elder to stop taking care of themselves including, dementia, depression, disease, poverty, and isolation.

If you suspect elder abuse or self neglect, there are often local agencies that you can contact to help assist an elder who is not taking care of themselves. Adult Protective Services are duty-bound to investigate every claim of abuse and neglect that is reported to them. They have experience in dealing with self-neglecting elders and have a number of resources available to them to help an elder in need.

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By dsu44 on Aug 13, 2016 - 07:21 AM | Like (0)  |  Report

Wow!! It just seem that you are just distressed and it would take too much of your time to care for your Mother, but it also seem that your kicking and screaming means you really need to and no matter what happened to you as a child or adult, you have to care for your mother because you are losing sleep trying not to do the right thing. Even if you just arrange for care, call animal rights to get rid of the cats, etc... You have to do something than just kick and scream about it. HELP HER!!!

By kathleenmanson on Sep 03, 2016 - 12:30 AM | Like (1)  |  Report

Are you serious @ sufffisher1? You really want her to call an elder services and hire a caregiver all by herself. I understand, you might be a very busy person and can't spare time for your mum and haven't met her since 2008. But can't you spare 5 to 10 minutes to find out a good in-home caregiver in Florida and hire them on the spot via a call. You got time to post this but not to make just one call juz for the sake of your mum. Shocked to see this!! Usually, elderly people at this age tend to be very aggressive at this very age. Can't blame them...right? I guess you need to make some study on this thoroughly:

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Feb 02, 2015 - 12:42 PM

You can legally divorce your parent. Contact an attorney in your state for assistance. Gather your budget info to help make your case for not being able to help financially. You will also need to explain why you are emotionally disconnected from your parent. Alternatively, you could file legally to serve as her conservator. Feeding 50 cats while she cannot afford it is proof that she needs help managing her finances. You would need to attend a class to learn how to be a legal conservator of her person and her property. An attorney will be a great help to you.

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