Apr 10, 2015 - 03:40 PM
I agree with many of the answers given already. Allow her to make as many decisions as possible by giving her either or choices and both are good ones that you can deliver.
Usually the issue of dignity also comes into play if your Mom is incontinent and needs help with toileting and or showering. Remember to always protect her privacy by closing the bathroom door even if there is no one else in the home. Utilize a sheet or large towel and drape her as much as possible when drying her and changing her clothes. Only remove one piece of clothing at a time. Avert your eyes whenever possible to show respect. Let her know you want to assist her to make it easier for her and you want to make sure she is safe and free from slips and falls. Be aware of the room temperature when changing her clothes or showering and make sure the room is warm enough.
Check out any supplies that would make incontinence easier such as different types of pads or adult briefs. If she is not able to brush her own teeth due to grasping issues check out large handled toothbrush or a padded gripper that can be applied to a regular brush. Allow her to do whatever she is able to do herself even if it is not perfect and is small in the scheme of personal care, such as brush her hair, apply lip gloss, use mouthwash.
Find out her favorite scents and get special soaps etc for her. Create a spa type environment and make it fun and relaxing. You make even try spa music.
Kindness, gentleness, loving, and unhurried spirit will go a long way. Tell her how much you appreciated all the years she took care of you when you needed it. And now that she could use a little help and it is your honor to be there for her.
Oct 02, 2015 - 09:57 AM
“The Only Thing to Fear, is Fear Itself”
Truer words were never spoken.
Fear in all of its permutations and manifestations is debilitating to both the body and spirit. When such fear is acute, it is even more crushing.
However, one positive and often unintended consequence is when it provides the impetus for personal introspection and growth.
I meet with plenty of families who are fearful. In fact, almost every family experiences some level of trepidation before placing a loved one in a nursing home.
They fear the unknown and they fear the fear itself!
This is completely normal.
Know that your Mom is stil there and you are still the daughter who loves her to pieces. You cannot humiliate your Mom, but to simply love her unconditionally, while realizing that she is compromised and that's not her fault or yours.
Love conqueres all!