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Are counselors available to talk when only one parent wants to go to independent living?

Our father is 86 and our mother is 79. Both should have been in independent living type housing long ago. All four children agree that this would be the best and safest situation. Father agrees completely. Mother refuses to leave and has become completely irrational about even discussing it despite the fact that she has fallen several times in the last year one requiring hospitalization. We have tried to talk to her with no results. We would like to have some type of counsellor discuss this with her since she will not listen to us or someone who can give us the right way to approach it. If she agreed they would be out of the house very quickly. Please help!! Thank you!!
Status: Open    Dec 11, 2014 - 09:16 AM

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Dec 21, 2014 - 09:57 AM

First, congratulations on researching senior living options for your parents. The easy answer to your question is yes, there are senior living counselors available to speak with your parents. An administrator or marketing director at your local independent living community should be able to fill that role.

I would suggest narrowing your preferred options for independent living. When you have a top few, begin with baby steps with both your parents. The idea of picking up and moving may be too overwhelming for yout mom to consider. Would she be willing, instead, to be involved in touring some communities you have researched so she can make an informed decision? Perhaps she may be willing to have the counselor visit them at home. Or, maybe instead of a tour or home visit, she may be up for a drive to see where the independent living is located and what it looks like from the outside. Be creative with your options and discuss your ideas with the independent living counselor and your family.

Ultimately, I recommend simply slowing the process down. Your mother should feel that she is in control of her own decision. Explore options that bring additional assistance to your parents' home as an alternative to moving. Don't give up speaking with your mother. While she may never come around to the idea of senior living, you may find that a discussion at the right time may soften her interest in moving in the future.

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