Sep 13, 2015 - 12:34 PM
I found a lot of wonderful information in books, articles and videos by Naomi Feil about her technique called Validation. From this website: [LINK NOT ALLOWED]
Example: Your 92-year-old mother is diagnosed with Alzheimer's Dementia. She hides her picture albums, her scrapbooks, and her wedding ring, and then she accuses you of throwing her precious things away. When you find her ring and her pictures, she turns her back on you and walks away, muttering "How do you know where they were? You got them out of the garbage can where you threw them." Should you: Convince your mother that she hid her things herself. Show her where you found her things. Assure her that you do not need her things. You have your own wedding ring. No. Your mother will argue with you because on an unconscious level of awareness, she knows you are right. She hid her precious things in the middle of the night herself, but she cannot admit it. She cannot be honest with herself. She never was. She hid her things on purpose to express her feelings of loss. Her picture albums, her scrapbooks, and her wedding ring symbolize her losses: her youth, her husband, her sexuality. She feels as if she is being thrown in the garbage. She accuses other people of robbing her because she cannot be responsible for what has happened to her. She yells at the world to relieve her anger at being robbed of her youth. When no-one listens, her accusations increase. Use the "Therapeutic lie." Agree with her. e.g., Yes, you stole her wedding ring and picture album, but now you are returning them. She doesn't have to worry. You won't steal them again. No. Your mother will be quiet for a moment, but she will not trust you. Deep down, she knows you are lying, patronizing her to keep her quiet. The next night, she will hide her things again. She needs to vent her feelings at being robbed, but no one hears. Help her express her rage. Empathize with her fear of aging, dependence, loneliness, and death. Understand that her possessions are symbols of her youth. Use these Validation techniques: Rephrase: e.g., "Your wedding ring is gone, and you say I have stolen it?" Use the visual sense: e.g., "That was that beautiful white gold wedding ring with the date of your marriage engraved on the inside." Reminisce: e.g., "How old were you when you were married, Mom. How old was Dad. How did you meet him?" If you genuinely listen to her, empathizing, she will tell you how much she has lost. If you use these techniques every day, for about ten minutes, after about three weeks, her grief will lessen. She will stop hiding her possessions as much. She is not cured. You can't cure aging. It's too late to give her insight. She will not face her fears directly. But now she will feel less fearful and safe with you, because she trusts you because you listened and understood.
Source: [LINK NOT ALLOWED]