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How do I get financial assistance for housekeeping and cooking for my mother with Dementia

My 91 year old mother has been diagnosed with Dementia. She is not able to cook for herself. Assisted living is not an option at this time. I would like to find out about someone doing some cleaning and possibly cooking a warm meal for her. She is a widow for 20 years. Her memory is getting worse. And more secreative and hiding things and accusing either myself or my husband taking them. I am the only care giver and the stress is taking its toll on me. She receives Meals on wheels M-F. But they are cold meals. She remembers a few family members, but not all. She now wants to ride a taxi and I am fearful of her doing something and getting
either lost or mugged. I drive her, and I schedule my appt. around her. But my patience with her has gone.
The other family members won't help. They did their part before I moved her and she pretty well ran them off. The younger ones are afraid of her.

Status: Open    Oct 20, 2014 - 07:38 AM

Dementia, Finance

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2 answers

APFM Staff Answers

Oct 21, 2014 - 12:59 PM

I'm sorry to hear that you are in such a difficult situation with your mother. Many programs for seniors are location specific so I am going to give you some general information to get you started. I would begin by contacting the Area Agency on Aging, they have two websites: and Once you explain your situation they will be able to direct you to resources and people who are in your local area. When you are speaking with the AOA you might want to inquire about tax benefits for caregiver expenses also, unfortunately I am not an expert in that area and again it may vary by state.

If your mom still enjoys socializing you may also want to look into an adult daycare program for her, most programs provide at least one meal as well as age and cognitive appropriate activities. If you are interested in that please give us a call at 866-568-2989 - we would connect you with a Senior Living Advisor who is an expert in your local area and could give you information on adult daycare programs as well as all the communities that might be a good fit for your mom in the future.



Nov 30, 2014 - 01:06 PM

You could hire someone privately or check with an agency. Around here they an agency may charge around $19 an hour with a minimum 4 hours typically. Holidays are considered time and a half. You also can check with the doctor and a request can be made for home health..nurse, cna, and therapists can come to the home. In our case, a nurse has come weekly, and the cna twice a week for showers.
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